I just killed a little spider. YES, I'm a spider killer.
Being biologist, I should respect and adore all God's creatures and the metaphors that they inspire (Can you guess where these words came from? =P) but spiders fall into a completely different category for me.
It isn´t even that a fear them, because I feel more disgust than fear. My heartbeat rises and even if I don't want to look at them and let them be, I can't stop looking right at and thinking about them. I won't be able to sleep, eat, shower or anything knowing that there is a spider in the same room as me.
If on top of that the spider starts moving...I'd tart freaking out inside and in the extreme I could even end up vomiting (for the record, I've never got to that point but I do feel like vomiting).
So imagine that I'm home alone all happy and relaxed in bed with my computer and I raise my head a moment to see a little spider suspended from the roof at the level of my eyes in the middle of the bed. Deni is not around to kill the spider so I try to be brave and kill it myself with some kitchen paper. It is the spider or my peace of mind. I start approaching- not too much tho- and stare at the spider for a few minutes with my heart pounding. When I finally get the courage to raise my hands and squeeze it between the kitchen paper what happens? The spider freaks out and starts going back to the roof as fast as she can. At this point, my heart is at the pitch of my stomach. I need to kill it! Even if it's tiny because now that I realize, the spider was at that same spot yesterday too! So I grab a flip-flop and...R.I.P.
Deni always tells me that one day I'd have to answer on the other side for all these unnecessary deaths. But I tell him that there are more of their type in the world than human beings. Not that this fact gives me the right to kill them but...
It isn´t the first time I try to kill a spider and all of the sudden it starts running away.
Do spiders know that I want to kill them?
Is my crazy pounding heart what alerts them?
Do spiders "feel" my fear?
Are you afraid of something?
How do you deal with it?
=)
